Taste a Bite Without a Fight

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Here's another blog inspired by a facebook question:

Megan Brower Lynberg My 2.5 year old son is super picky and I swear he looks at certain foods and decides not to eat them. I know most parents have the try it rule, or just one bite, but we can't even get him to do that most times. Any suggestions on how to implement that? Or should we just let it go and know that for the most part he gets a balanced diet and hopefully he'll branch out as he gets older?

Picky eating is synonymous with most toddlers and school aged kids. I smile inwardly when parents boast that their one year old will eat anything, unlike "other kids" who are picky, as if the other parents did something wrong.

It is between 15 months and 3 years that kids who used to eat anything go through phases of pickiness. I say phases, because sometimes it is a favorite food one week, only to be "yuck" the next week.  I knew this when my kids were young, so I took pictures of my toddlers devouring things like broccoli, so I could show them later that they did, in fact, love it.  (It didn't help.)

Overall the two biggest food groups kids dislike, vegetables and meats, are two of the most nutritious, so parents fret about how to get the nutrition in.  My general advice: parents decide what foods are offered, kids decide how much they eat.

My kids learned "Taste a bite without a fight" at daycare. Why silly rhymes work, I don't know, but sometimes they do.  I usually advise to enforce a bite after 3 years.  Before this age, they might just be too young to fight the battle yet. They simply don't know how to follow rules until about 3. I have heard of parents turning on the tv so the child mindlessly eats what the parent puts in his mouth. Don't do that! It sets up so many bad eating habits!!!

Until the taste a bite rule can be enforced (and even after that) I like to use hidden foods as nutrients. We are having pumpkin french toast this morning-- pumpkin puree added to the eggs/milk. This is not much vegetable, but more than they would get from a bowl of cereal or standard french toast. If this is done with many meals, it all adds up. Find foods your child likes, then "tweak" to fit in needed nutrients.

Vegetables and fruits can easily be pureed and put into sauces, casseroles, smoothies, and ground meats (meatballs, burgers, meatloaf).  Put a can of beets into the blender with your spaghetti sauce for a funky colored sauce. If your kids don't like sauce on noodles, try making pizza with a zucchini/carrot/beet jazzed up sauce. Some people just finely shred or chop. I find that puree works better because they don't see it and pick it out! There are many recipes for this online and in cookbooks for parents.  Check out my Pinterest Meal Ideas page for starters. (Not all ideas are healthy on this page... some are things I just want to try!)

Putting a cheese sauce over vegetables or offering a dunking sauce (yogurt, catsup, ranch dressing) makes it more acceptable to many kids. 

Add fruits and vegetables to breads or noodles. Most kids love the bread group. Banana bread, pumpkin bread, zucchini bread, spinach noodles, and more are all ways to add a little fruit or vegetable into something they will eat. Yes, they will get more sugar this way, but ...

Try a soup or stew. This is a great time of year to throw things in the crock pot in the morning and come home to the smell of dinner already ready!  

If it's meat he doesn't like (most don't at this age) use other forms of protein and iron (eggs, nuts, legumes, etc). Dairy helps with the protein, but has no iron, so don't only use cheese - a common food they love! You can also try meat hidden in casseroles or in fun forms, but remember there are entire countries of people who don't eat meat. Just make sure your kids are getting the nutrition they need.

Play with the food: make the food fun to eat by arranging into shapes. Use a cookie cutter for fun shapes. Arrange food into a face on the plate. There are many ideas of this online! 

Let kids help prepare the meals in an age/ability safe way, starting with washing vegetables, or arranging them on a plate. Start a garden next season so kids can see the food grow! 

A tip from my mother-in-law: kids will eat anything on a stick or fun appetizer sized! Make roll ups with a tortilla, cream cheese, lunch meats, spinach, or whatever sandwich fillings you use and cut into circles. Put a toothpick in small pieces of fruit or jazzed up meatballs (or load up fruit or vegetables on a skewer for a fun kabob).  

Read books that involve foods. I have put some ideas on my Pinterest Books page. Two of my favorites: "I Will Never Not Ever Eat a Tomato" by Lauren Child and "Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr Seuss. Use the books to stimulate ideas-- like making green eggs!

Above all, try to keep meal time pleasant. It should be a time the family gathers to talk, laugh, and enjoy one another. If the focus is a fight about eating, it is not serving one of the big benefits of eating together.  Work the nutrition in, but keep the meal itself fun!

Post suggestions of what has worked for your family. I always love to hear new tricks!  And if your child is really restricted in foods, talk with your doctor.  Sometimes it's more than just picky!

Food Strike!

A recent facebook question: Any articles out there about what to do when your child goes on an eating strike? My son, who's five (soon), has these occasionally, and he's already thin as a rail to begin with :)

My answer became much too long, as this is a very common concern and there are so many aspects, so it turned into this blog.

This question (very common) always reminds me of the Judy Blume book, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.  (One of my favorite books growing up.)  The younger brother in the book, Fudge, refuses to eat.  After many failed trials of forcing food, and bribing, his Dad finally loses patience and says "eat it or wear it."  Needless to say, Fudge ends up with the bowl of cereal on his head and goes around for days saying "eat it or wear it!"

Food Strike!  This is a common concern of parents.  But kids are smart, they won't let themselves starve.

Of course there are some instances that are cause for concern.  Red Flags include kids who are sick, recurrently vomit or ruminate, seem dehydrated, have problems with food allergies, are very limited in foods over an extended time, experience swallowing problems or choking, or who are not following their growth curve.  Red flags are another topic entirely!  Work with your physician in these cases.

If hungry, he will eat.  Just don't let him fill up on things that aren't giving a nutritious balance. Even just milk all day can be harmful because it lacks many vitamins and minerals, so a little milk with other foods is better!

• Offer veggies, fruits, cheese, nuts, etc at scheduled snack times. 
• Limit pre-packaged foods and snacks.
• Limit drinks other than water and low calorie milks.  These fill kids up and don't offer balanced nutrition.
• Put only a small amount on his plate... it might be overwhelming to have a full plate.
• Turn off the tv.  Have a dinner conversation with the family.  This not only sets up healthy eating habits, but also healthy family dynamics. Teens who eat with their families are less likely to have risky behaviors!
• Set a good example!  Talk about how much you are enjoying the healthy foods at the table. (Not how healthy they are, but rather how good they taste.)
• Keep foods separate on the plate... they might eat one food if not touching another.
• Set a time for meals and stick to it.  If your child doesn't eat, still clear the table.  When they complain of being hungry, don't be condescending.  Simply say, "I know how you feel.  I'm hungry too when I don't eat.  Dinner is coming up soon. I'm sure you'll be ready!"  Don't offer filler foods. Don't yell.  Don't over-discuss.  Kids are smart, they'll pick up on the fact that they need to eat at meal time or be hungry.  (They won't starve to death!)
• Hide healthy foods in casseroles, sauces, etc.  I love my blender... the food processor was too much for me to clean, but my blender works just as well!  Many vegetables have little flavor, which makes it easy to "hide" them in things.

• I put a can of beets in with the spaghetti sauce --makes a cool color without changing the flavor.    

• I put carrots, spinach, or cabbage in my smoothies without changing the flavor.  Strawberries, bananas, kiwi, and other fruits are much more flavorful than many veggies and kids tend to like their tastes.  I just try to match color to hide the vegetable. 

•  Puree onions, carrots, zucchini, spinach, and other vegetables in recipes rather than chopping them... kids won't pick them out!  Chances are they won't even know they're there.

• Try foods in different forms: 

• frozen peas are crunchy-- maybe they don't like the squishy texture of cooked peas
• raw broccoli is much different in taste and texture than cooked broccoli
• many kids love cheese over vegetables or foods dunked in catsup or yogurt
• it is fun to eat with fingers for a change... let them get messy!
• try cutting things into pieces and serve with toothpicks
• make a kabob of fruit and cheese pieces... it's always more fun to eat off a stick! 
• cut sandwiches with a large cookie cutter for fun shapes
• use small cookie cutters for bite sized sandwiches or fruit pieces 

• Try not to use food as a reward. This can set up unhealthy eating habits.
• Don't reward for eating.  Most kids will get the intrinsic reward of satiety.  They don't need stickers or dessert for eating a meal.
• Praise small steps.  If kids try a new food (whether they like it or not) praise the fact that they tried!

Set your expectations realistically.  Don't expect kids to eat as much as infants/toddlers or teens/adults.  Calorie needs go down when not in growth spurts.  Just make the nutrition needs balance.  Don't worry as much about volume as variety of healthy foods!  Most kids don't need supplemental meals in a can (Pediasure and other brands) ~ they are getting the nutrition and calories they need, there is just an imbalance of perception of what they need.  I always prefer a healthy, active, thin child over a child who is overweight and not active (and often undernourished due to poor quality foods).

Vitamin supplement use and need is debated (except Vitamin D, which is recommended for all).  In general, I think it is a good idea to give a multivitamin with iron if kids aren't eating well.  Iron deficiency actually causes anorexia-- increasing the problem!   Just be sure to lock up vitamins as if they are medications, so kids don't accidentally ingest too much. 

Most kids grow well during their picky eating and food strike phases!  Just be patient and aware of any red flags that need to be evaluated.  If you are concerned, schedule an appointment to discuss foods, growth, nutrition, and concerns.  Bring a typical food log of foods and drinks (with approximate volumes) for at least one week.  We can either identify a concern and develop a plan of action, or reassure you that your child is normal!